tengwan

Holidays over. School starts. Time moves on, everyone moves on, I am moving on too.
Realising that I moved on to flickr. Abandoning this place totally. It like a harsh feeling of liking new things and throwing away the old. But we all move on..
One day I will reminiscent and come back to upload and update more again.
One day I will just disappear from flickr and move on to something else.


Its quite amazing to look back to the times when I was drawing outdoor under the hot sun for 4,5 hours. Embarrassingly holding wet oil painting on public buses. Then I went sort of engrossed over idols. But positively, that glued me to the com so much that it sculpts the way I use the computer. It's quite amazing to recall that I was using IRC and ICQ when I was 12. And did my first webpage using yahoo the same year.
Remembering how clumsy I handled ink pen.. trying to draw a capsicum when I was 13. Remembering how my art teacher tried to teach us illustrator and photoshop but nothing was absorbed. seriously.

Then I found myself dashing into product, looking at how bolts and nuts works, furniture details, architectures, materials, extruding forms, enduring crashes from 3d program and photoshop, sniffing blue foams/sprays/MDF powder, crying over the making of idiotic prototypes and presentation boards.

Everything just swiftly passed by and moved on.
I dunno what's happening actually.

Now. Drawing, thinking, researching and creating. Actually, I think nothing much has changed, but many things just moved on with time.
I realised a big change took place after a year in uni. Still can't believe the changes...
But I think there are more to come.

On a update spree again.
I know I left deviantart alone for months..
too many things to catch up.

oops.

As usual, there is always a start and an end. It's the end of school's semester and my first year in university and a start to the spongy holiday. wait. why spongy?
I have laid out many things to do this holiday with one aim and two goals. Aim to really upgrade myself in another aspect and two goals-- to freshen the lethargic tengwan and explore things I always wanted to.
So it is more of a dried up sponge, waiting to absorb whatever there is. of cos, thou I am still feeling very tired from the battle of projects, but time don't wait for us.

A walk through some of admers (uni's sch mates) sites and portfolio, I realised and suddenly woke up how far people have achieved. How independent and matured they are. And looking back to myself, I felt more like a little girl awaiting to be hug and pat. I dunno. maybe someone must really throw me out and let me grow up.

But first, throwing away the negatives, little girl is finally going out of country! off to taiwan in two days later to open and realise the roots of myself. I mean, I don't come from taiwan, but at least, being a dominant chinese country, I might view my own race in a different spectacle as compared to seeing them in everyday life and taking things for granted.
Anyway, I am suppose to be packing my stuffs. but I haven't! -.-

Coming back to some "projects" I want to do over break.. I have a web online idea which I will be collaborating with my friend for that. I still haven't quite figure out how to do it yet, but I am pretty sure it will be executed. Also, an ongoing hirameki project, but with no definite directions yet. FYI, hirameki is lipton. lipton is hirameki. hirameki is the thing that spark our brain. yes. caffeine addict.

Last but not least, I must get back my doodling and arty farty mode, creating more art. Sometimes I really wonder if that is my true self or just a retreat from reality.


-wandesign

Soon I will be back on DA~
Today is finally my last paper. Really finally
and one more submission to completed by next mon.
and its the end!

can't wait for hol to come...
felt that this semester was way too fast. much faster than the first. I duno why. but by the time I realised it, its already half gone...
I shall stop myself from saying those sentimental speeches and keep it within me and my classmates
or maybe elaborate it more when the holiday starts.

anyway, this is just a short update. I am still biting on to the textbook.
Will really flood this place very soon..

-tw

Have been missing in action for quite some time. I know.

When the deviantart site isn't open on my firefox tab each time I run it.
When I find that my inspiration sites are turning mouldy.
When school work is suffocating me but I see my friends enjoying life, taking things easy, enjoying what they do.
When I attempted to freelance and juggle schoolwork but at the same time failed miserably.
When I tried very hard to participate actively in the art and design industry but nothing works out.
When I tried to jump away from a little girl shyness, it just came back again.
When my body is sounding an alarm telling me that I couldn't take things anymore and I need a break. I really mean it.

I really need a break from everything. Even to the extend of having a break from perfectionism, enthusiasm, conscientious and passionate.
I hope people around me accept this and allow me to have this break.

But not to quite that extend at the moment because they are expecting even more.......
and not helping at all.

You know, being lousy and rotten once in a while.
I must say. Please allow me to do lousy work.
sloppish work....

Because my body is responding too much to all these overloads of pressure, either from external or internal.
please don't make me think this is the end of everything.
thanks.

I held a glimmer of hope that under maintenance will change to under construction soon....

-tengwan